


Welcome to Argus

by shaggydiz



Category: RWBY
Genre: Crack, Dumb Crack, Other, Spoilers for S6Ep7, extra sauce crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 14:13:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17003184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaggydiz/pseuds/shaggydiz
Summary: Team RWBY and their crew finally arrive at Argus.orThe author experiencing a brief lapse of judgment after watching "The Grim Reaper".





	Welcome to Argus

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings. After watching this episode, I had a what if thought, which took me twenty minutes to write, and which you will now read in about ninety seconds.
> 
> I'm not sorry.

                “Granny, can you teach me the ways of the ‘Silver Eyes’?” Ruby asked, bright eyed, as Maria Calavera finished her story.

                “Sure thing kid, if you stop calling me Granny!” Maria told her.

                “Okay Granny!”

                The former Grim Reaper was close to returning to the old ways of her life when a ringing came out of nowhere.  Everyone looked to Ruby, who looked to her pocket, pulling out her scroll.  “Vomit Boy?” she questioned, seeing Jaune’s face appear on her device.  “How are you calling me?  Nothing should work!”

                “Because you’re almost to Argus!” he shouted through the scroll.  “You’re like, two clicks out!”

                “Yes!” Ruby cried out, ecstatic.  “Full speed ahead Rudolph!”

                “That doesn’t even exist in this universe Ruby!” Yang shouted from up front.  She obliged though, driving the motorcycle and the attached wagon up the top of the mountain.  They reached the peak, and everyone looked out, seeing in the distance the walled city of Argus, as well as the sea.  The team and their extras cheered and walloped, excited to have finally gotten there.

                “A couple more hours and we’ll be there safely,” Weiss commented, sitting and relaxing back in the wagon.

                “A couple hours?” Yang asked.  An evil grin pulled itself on her face.  “More like a couple minutes!”

                “Wait YaAAAAHHHHHH!” Weiss cried out, as Yang gunned her motorcycle down the steep descent of the mountain.  She swerved around rocks and trees and potholes, screaming maniacally as she shot down the mountain.  Everyone in the wagon was hanging on for deal life as best they could: Ruby and Oscar clutched onto each other, commenting about rose gardens in the afterlife; Weiss and Blake looped their arms, becoming yin and yang personified; Maria Calavera’s staff magically turned on, allowing her to float peacefully in the wagon; and Qrow casually pulled out his flask, already going against his oath of sobriety from one episode prior.

                “This will not end well,” he muttered to himself, before looking out the front of the wagon.  There, Qrow saw the barest of stones, the smallest of rocks, the miniscule of pebbles, and immediately cursed the old gods and the new for his semblance.  He drank again.

                Yang hit that piece of earth, which stopped the front tire of the bike, causing everything to flip head over heels, and everyone – save Maria, floating like the greatest of kung fu masters – tumbled and bumbled down the mountain, bumping into rocks and trees and each other, for half a kilometer before they hit the bottom, piling on and around each other – Maria, perfecting feng shei, landed on top of the pile.

                Slowly, they reoriented themselves, pulling limbs and other devices apart.  They heard a loud whooping sound coming from ahead, and they all looked up, seeing Team JN_R (RIP P) walking up to greet them.  The sounds of their hellos were drowned out by Nora, who shouted: “DID YOU GUYS JUST TUMBLE DOWN THE MOUNTAIN?!?”

                “Yes we did, and it hurt,” Blake answered, thankful for the six lives she had remaining.

                “THAT LOOKED LIKE FUN!” Nora hollered.  “REN, RACE YOU TO THE TOP AND BOTTOM!”

                And then she was off, running up the mountain, leaving everyone behind to look at her, confused, but shrugged.

                For they had finally arrived at Argus, mostly in one piece.


End file.
